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Isolated Isolation Inside the Insanity of InsomniaIsolation
Writhing, squirming, living hell
screeching, squealing, can not tell
where the road begins nor ends
just blindly follow the constant bends.
Rushing forth into unknown,
push and shove into the zone
of your comfort, your well-known place,
somewhere that you can show your face.
from yourself, your life,
from that damned and bloodied knife
Take it deep and take it all
into your cavity and fall
onto the floor of the castle you built
with nothing more than your shame-coated guilt.
Hubris of man, sins of the past
come to relive at the bottom of the glass
that you so willingly raise to your lips
just to taste it, taste it against
the cold, decaying bits that make up your flesh
and leave it with nothing but the best
Isolated from all that you know, knew, had
because you took without considering who was mad
It wasn't I, for I am not
the newly formed pile of rot
that you see every time you steal a glance
At your personal, little hell
that you so happily, wrongfully, built so t
HonestlyHonestly, I'm half asleep
I'm slipping in the brink
of despair and torment
just to try to catch a wink
My sleepless nights,
and endless days
are tearing me apart
just to see your gaze
I know to move on
and I know just how
but alas I cannot subside
my desire, just now
Manifesto of a PyroIf we set fire to the world, no one will suffer more
if we set it all ablaze, the corrupt will purge for sure
If you burn down this castle, back to ash
Our names will forever last
As the man who started anew
with just a match, a dream, and you
Loyal like a StrayHe’s loyal like a stray,
Right down to the tee,
He’ll follow you to hell and back
And shred you with his teeth.
He’s loyal like a stray,
He’ll stand strong by your side.
Just take heed, he’s a stray,
His loyalty is just a guise.
I have StrayedFar along, had I come
In my journey towards the old.
Progress had I believed I made,
Though my kindred were cold.
I’d tried to go on,
Tried to stand tall;
But alas my knees
Gave in to the fall
I don’t ask for strength,
Don’t beg for forgiveness.
No, I am Asatru, Strong
And don’t falter to weakness
I have strayed, over time,
No longer give gifts to the Gods
Life has decayed, such a crime,
But I still face the odds.
I will right this wrong,
Fix my problems on my own.
The Gods will remember
How I grew in the cold.
My name remembered,
Etched into time;
And take back what’s mine.
I may have strayed,
But no longer am I weak
This is my oath,
My vows I do speak.
So I'll just keep WaitingOne day I’ll get mine
One day that thing will never come
So I’ll keep waiting for that day
That day that it will rain
The sun stopped shining,
So long ago did the clouds form.
Blotted out the sun,
And the love was so warm.
One day, it will come,
The sweet rain will wash my face
And I’ll finally smile, free,
And feel that love’s embrace.
But it won’t come,
It never will reach me.
That day won’t come.
So I’ll just keep waiting.
Precious DoveYou ask me why I’m rather sad
but its because you just can’t see pass
The fact that the only reason we can’t be
Is because of the distance between you and me.
I gave you my heart, ripped out the blackness of my soul,
To make room for your love, worth far more than gold.
And yet no matter what I do, tried, or thought
I was always nothing more than a fat piece of rot
I will never be the man, that you so much adore
Because you killed off that prick when you left me some more.
I ripped out my flesh, torn asunder my heart
Made plans for the future, for love, just for it to all fall apart
You don’t talk anymore, don’t acknowledge I’m here.
Why won’t you love me? Say hello? What do you fear!
What could I do differently, I would destroy the heavens above
If it meant I could have you, just you, precious dove.
Cannot be HimCome to me, oh come to me
And I promise to give you the sea.
Raise the waves, crash the shores,
Just to hold you; near the core
Of my heart, of my soul
Until the days of life grow old.
But ‘Alas, I shall not win,
For I am me, and cannot be Him.
Don't Hold Your BreathI’m still here,
I fight day after day.
Yes I’m still here,
Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Sure I could give in,
Oh, I could just die.
But why would I give you that pleasure
When I can still reach the skyline
Bring me that sun,
Bring me the stars as well.
I’m never going to rest,
Until this worlds all gone to hel.
And even then.
Don’t hold your breath.
I am a MouseI am a mouse.
I am quiet, I am nothing.
I am a book that nobody has read.
I am an eclipsed sun and a cloaked moon.
I am irrelevant and unwanted, a broken toy in an attic.
I am the dust in your rear-view mirror that you leave behind.
I am the air that you breathe in and spit out as something different.
I am the palest white. I am the darkest black. I am the dullest, emptiest grey.
I am the old man with forgotten memories and the baby who has yet to make them.
I am a forgotten word, dangling on the tip of your tongue, hanging on the noose of your lips.
I am a dried up stream. I am a felled forest. I am an abandoned cornucopia of resolute nothingness.
And there is Hell burning in my eyes.
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
A void within meAlone on this inhospitable night, once again
I let my memories guide my lost steps,
Wandering amid the ghosts of my past.
As I walk along the quay,
I stare at the feeble Seine flowing:
She's dying by the street lamps' hands
While the whole city asphyxiates.
Reflecting my own lack of humanity
Over the river's lighted surface,
Griefs come and go at the water's rhythm.
Once again, on this breathtaking night,
My feelings are sealed and my chest hollow.
Purple rain, chills of cold.... Or regret? I crave
My musical drug, my remaining salvation,
Spreading a sweet poison within me and
Eroding the remaining happiness I still have.
I plug my headphones...
A grin of relief appears on my weary face,
I flee to lenient lands, where a familiar Angel tucks me in.
These notes of violin split the immutable silence,
Fill the hole in, lit a bonfire to my soul.
This mermaid sings my dreams to me,
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
you talk like a travestyoh, mercury boy, you can't
write your way out of this
body or out of this mind;
you can pray like it's high-fashion,
insist you're only burning yourself out
(but tell me - do you feel like a god yet?)
if only for murky mirrors &
silver cicadas caught
in your ribcage, you've
got a knack for decaying
The PointIt’s the taste of cake mix on the spoon, that first time you ‘help’ bake a cake.
It’s seeing the bright world afresh after a dark nightmare, when you first wake.
It’s when you make them laugh and, in that moment, everyone loves a clown.
It’s when your heart stops before the roller coaster plummets down, down.
It’s when the lights go out before your favourite band plays and you scream.
It’s that moment you look around and everything’s perfect enough to be a dream.
It’s the anticipation of waiting for a new episode of your favourite television show.
It’s the first time you listen to your favourite record and you just sort of know.
It’s reading a book cover-to-cover and a million times more and still crying at the ending.
It’s the stiff, tight, real feeling of a smiling scab as you watch the wound mending.
It’s when you first meet your best friend and you hate each other (but in a good way).
california wintersthe tears
I rationed have all
run out. Tuesday comes
up behind me and steals
my breath; my cat snores.
she can’t sleep soundly
since she lost her seventh
life. I’m like that, I’m always
worried someone will try to steal
what I’ve already given away.
I miss color. newsprint sobs
washed me out. I am a
blank canvas, I am a faceless,
I am one
of you. I wake up sweating
and it’s winter and I can’t
sleep because my memories
follow me between my sheets;
jake still won’t listen.
we never knew we were the
lucky ones, we scarred, too. don’t
touch me. don’t want
me, don’t bare my bones
when you think I’m not
watching. I’m afraid of
myself. breathing loud
enough that others know
I exist; you follow me,
needing, laughing, it’s
a game. who has lost
the most, we all want
to win; I’m so tired, so scared,
there’s no one in the world
who sees me. I can’t cry.
we’re in a drought.
The Weeping ClownShe doesn't love me,
I'm just a name.
Trying to cling to her,
As she rises to fame.
She doesn't need me,
Nor does she care.
Because to her,
I'm rarely there.
Behind the scenes,
Pulling things 'round.
No one notices,
The weeping clown.
No one looks,
Nor do they ask.
They just assume,
He has another task.
"Too busy" they say
"To be questioned or stopped"
"Just let him work"
"He doesn't talk"
Never do they
That the weeping clown
Is really me.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More